When It’s Hardest to Live Your Values

You know that moment. The one where your gut tells you the right move—but speaking up could cost you. The meeting where it’d be easier to stay quiet. The decision that would keep everyone happy... except you.

Most organizations claim integrity as a core value—95% of them, in fact. But here’s the problem: in one study, 38% of employees said they don’t believe their coworkers actually keep their promises. Integrity isn’t just about words—it’s about action. And action is hardest when the stakes are high.

This week, we’re diving into what it actually takes to stand firm when it matters most—no fluff, just real strategies from leaders who’ve made the hard choices and come out stronger.

The Cost of Integrity

A few years ago, I faced a choice: sign off on a strategy I believed was a terrible idea, or challenge it and risk making waves.

Most of my peers went along with it, even though, behind closed doors, we all agreed—it wasn’t great. But we also knew the CEO wanted it. I almost signed off too. It wouldn’t be my responsibility if it went poorly, right?

Then it hit me: A year from now, how would I feel knowing I stayed silent? What if my input could shift the conversation—even just a little?

So I spoke up. It wasn’t easy—there was pushback, some tense conversations, and moments of doubt. But in the end, the CEO got what they wanted, and communication improved dramatically because we took the time to address my concerns.

That’s the thing about integrity: It’s not just knowing your values. It’s being willing to take a hit for them.

The Truth About Pressure

Pressure distorts judgment. It convinces us that bending “just this once” is reasonable. That we’ll make up for it later. But the more we justify, the easier it gets to keep compromising.

So how do you stay steady when every instinct is screaming for an easier way out?

✔️ Decide before the moment comes. If you wait until you’re under pressure, you’ll rationalize your way out of it.
✔️ Anchor to identity, not fear. Instead of asking, What’s the safest choice? ask, Who do I want to be when this is over?
✔️ Use the regret test. A week from now, will you be proud of your decision—or will you wish you had handled it differently?
✔️ Have your go-to response. When someone tries to sway you, be ready with a simple, firm line: I hear you, but I can’t move forward with that and stay true to what I believe.

Your Mirror Moment™

Take a moment to reflect:

• When was the last time you compromised on something that mattered to you? How did it feel afterward?

• Where in your work or life are you facing a decision that doesn’t sit right?

• If fear wasn’t part of the equation, what choice would you make?

our next decision is a chance to prove to yourself what truly matters. Choose accordingly.

The Challenge: One Bold Move

This week, do one thing that aligns with your values—even if it’s uncomfortable.

🔹 Say the thing you’ve been avoiding in a meeting.
🔹 Hold a boundary, even when it’s inconvenient.
🔹 Advocate for what’s right, even if it’s unpopular.

And pay attention—not just to the outcome, but to how you feel when you stand firm.

⚡ Bottom Line: Your values don’t mean much if they disappear when things get tough. The real work is standing by them when it’s inconvenient, risky, or hard.